You’ve got Blood on your hands.

13 Jan

If you think you’ve got no blood in your hands, Think again!. If you think you’ve got no responsibilities to others, Think again. If you think none have died because of you, Think again. Keep thinking until you come to the realization that it is true.

You’ve got blood on your hands. You don’t think, you’ve never wanted to, you don’t reason… you just want to have the easy life… the pretty life… the romantic life as portrayed by everything you’ve seen since you were born. Well, you were fed crap and you ate it! now you’re a piece of s*** yourself. You now defend the small piece of stupid egg-shell you cower under due to Freudian impulses helping you as a survival strategy. you never wanted to know the truth, the truth hurts. You could not handle the truth and your stupid brain being evolutionary stupid shut itself down and made you blind to the truth.

A few references in this article would be readily understandable to the Indian reader. Though, I bet all humans in every part of the world could relate to some or the other similar issues.

You see those poor people around you? the ones whom you ignore and walk away, helpless and hopelessly you wander till you become blind. You’ve been taught to be blind to your surroundings. Taught to care only about oneself, Taught to just live life by being the biggest ape in the Jungle. The ape that makes other apes suffer. yeah! you’re the devil ape, the testosterone fueled “ugly” that tries to rule. you don’t think so..? read along…

Now, I say to you this, In the wake of development in India, the society has essentially divided by a huge margin. The poor have gotten even poorer, the rich kept being pigs and greedy. All the people want a piece of the golden grub that they squat and kiss ass for it. They wish God would just help them satisfy their greed and get pissed when their greed is destroyed a little bit. People don’t think. They desperately want to believe the mass media, they want to believe anything that is said in a great oration!. People would start eating shit if it was marketed by Apple Inc. yes! I bet they’d even form a queue. They’d vote for the person who promises a lot of development but the form of development is irrelevant to them. There have been a lot of development at the cost of huge losses to various people like the indigenous people of India. Do you care..? oh no! you just want to see if our diplomats’ ass is alright when she landed on the cushion.

This is a case that happened way back, in the days of kings of old: There were three villages. One village was burnt, all the men from an another village were Jailed and the third afraid and angry sided with the rebels. well, now that I recall, it’s a story from current day India. Oh..? don’t believe me..? or perhaps you think they deserved it, dearest..?. Oh..? you devil in disguise… It’s the Maoist problem plaguing India. The problem could be stated simply like this:… there are neutral villages. The greedy companies saw the resources in the village.. yeah much like the plot in Avatar.. I know. They wanted to mine for the resources and displaced 10 villages in promise of land and money. did they get it..? no, they did not… typical modern world victor mentality who take what they want from a weaker voiceless person. Then there was a small band of mercenaries who kinda hated the government and they said, let’s f*** the government for what they’ve done to you. The villagers, ignorant and gullible, took to the mercenaries and now, they’re a terrorist faction. government now angry and naive, treated them as such and is still waging a small-scale war against them. Does the government have a good strategy to deal with them..? NO!. They’re ignorant bigots who’ve no idea of Game theory or anything.. they’re uneducated fools running the government coz it is a profitable business without any formal knowledge. So, what did the government do..? Ah! yes! they wanted votes and wanted to show people that they are in control and hence they’d probably deploy the military showing all their might. Oh..? and before.. did I just say 10 villages..? ah! that’s not right.. the number of people affected account for 8% of the Indian population… yeah… that much!.

Now your argument is this, you might think you’ve got nothing to do with anything… that you’re a simple man taking care of yourself and minding your own business. I say, you do have blood in your hands… take for example this simple scenario, if money accumulates in one part, an equal amount needs to be lost somewhere else.. Yeah! the business giants who hold infinite wealth whom you consider ‘great’ are a total jackass. Take this simple example: There is 100 rupees in circulation between 3 people… one, a farmer produces the food, two, a person to cook the food and three, a person to transport it. Now, if each person charges the correct amount, the money should circulate quite smoothly and keep everybody fed. Now, if the cook thinks he’s better than the farmer and the transporter, he starts charging more… he creates advertisements and other gimmicks so that you’d pay more… now, slowly, the money gets accumulated with the cook and the cook get a majority share of the 100 and the farmer starves to death. Now say, the transporter takes over the job of both the farmer and transportation, the system does indeed recover but with just two people and the farmer out of the picture. The cook is not a huge crook, he simply thought that he was entitled to a bit more coz others were not equal to him. It is this simple thought that “others are not equal” that makes a huge difference in the way people see. This inequality in society is caused by the ego devil who pretends to be you and is you!. If a person is wealthy enough to satiate his greed and hence is ego, he has blood on his hands. I quote this one line from my favorite anime ‘full metal alchemist’: “Even when our eyes are closed, there are people who live outside ourselves and our dreams”

Of course the market is highly complex and the way it interacts with the world is quite not easily perceived. But take this another simple illustration: Mr Baggins with loads of cash in his bag gives a small charity to 10 people of 5$ each. Also, say, these ten people each had 15$ before. Our Mr. Baggins also offers to sell ‘Bling Bling’ gel at 20$ which he made by spending just 5$. This product is aimed at those people who received the charity and hence are now able afford this (they think bling bling gel would make world go all bling bling and sparkly). Thus the poor people who received Mr. Baggins’ charity are actually paying 10$ to our Mr. Baggins. Now replace Mr. Baggins with the US government and our shiny ‘bling bling’ with say, a wheat harvester. Now you kinda get the picture that though the developed nations give a lot to charity, they in turn are taking a lot more from the poorer countries that they grow richer while the poorer countries grow poorer. This does not only apply to something as huge as countries… it might be happening right at the company you work at. Oh! well, they do pay you and you’d dare not question, you blind clueless bastard.

I do believe that clueless and uninformed politicians who guides the flow of events are half the problem with these things. But, arent’ politicians a representation of the people they govern..? so it’s essentially in all of us to be faulty. But that does not mean that we cannot change… be more conservative with the things that you deem as needs and wants and with the needs satiated, be gentle with the wants. Ah! one great excuse that people give: “I need to secure my future”, well, the future can never be secure how much ever you prepare for it. don’t make other people’s present worse just to give a false sense of security to your future. Teach your children that all are equal however different they might seem.

Now, knowing this, also know that it’s oneself that one can really change… I believe that the only one I can change is myself and write this article basically to remind myself of what my thoughts are so that I’d never forget it. Note that the author includes himself when he uses the word ‘you’.

Oh..? you read till the end..? That should have been painful…. well… err…  post your comments whatever they be… :)

The pleasure of Eating with Hands: The Indian way!

9 Dec

1. The hand senses temperature. Indian food is designed such that one can take the food at their desired temperature some prefer it hot and some a bit cold and eating by hand adds this extra dimension to the taste. Note that certain Korean, Chinese and Japanese foods are either too hot or too cold  “Too hot” meaning boiling Hot! So, obviously they need wooden chopsticks! and they do insist on using that. Well, I insist people use their hands with Indian food.

2. Texture: The hand is really good at sensing texture that when you hold a cake in your hand, you’d start imagining the softness and drool all over. It gives a feel for the food and it helps mix the ingredients with a better ratio, yeah! some people prefer mixing the variety of items into one big delicious puddle.

3. Dexterity: The hand gives a better handle on the food. Example, the staple food being rice, which unlike the sticky kind in Japanese onigiri,  is quite loose and not sticky. Now, try picking that up with chopsticks I dare you!. Ah! and there are those roti (Indian Bread) made of wheat floor, I dare you to tear that, dip it in sauce and eat it and do all that with just your fancy knife and fork skill.

With all these advantages, using hands is a no brainier for having Indian food. And finally, the culture in India, which involves not shaking hands with others but a respectable bow with the hands clasped and importance to cleanliness when it comes to using your hand, like washing it a gazillion times and not using the dominant hand for dirty tasks makes the hand a clean alternative to those unwashed fork and spoon!. So, at least when it comes to Indian food, keep your hands perfectly clean and use it to have some good food. On the other hand if you are a microbe inviting freak of nature, Keep off my Table!.

Note that there had not been much research done by me, it’s just my hypothesis and a fun one to think about!.

(P.S :Sadly, In today’s India, not all are privileged enough to worry about cleanliness while they need to worry about getting food and other basic needs. Thus, cleanliness seems to be not embraced so highly as of yet partly due to lack of awareness and motivation for behavior change.)


21 Mar

The past it’s Movement stopped, present it extends for ever.

The future, the care Of it widened and fear its grip hardened.

The will and wish which fluttered around is caught in a Veil.

It circles the person It wants. Like a planet caught under gravity.

It changes it’s shape and gets molded to liE there dormant.

forever circling the one l’amour.

Parched is the ground. to Quench it: l’amour,

Tangled is my voice, to Untie it: l’amour,

Bleeds the hEart. to save it: l’amour,

Hunger it roars. to Eat: l’amour.

The Night is awake. to sleep: l’amour.

~The code it lies The Coward awaits ~

Ain’t life Beautiful, and to seek it: l’amour.

An Individual’s Life and Perspective

25 Jan

This article could only be written now and at no other stage of my life past or future would enable it. It’s my life as a student here at IIT madras. I’m now in my fifth semester of my M.S. (by research). Quite a lot had happened till now: I’ve done my exploration and settled on a research area, I’ve got one paper submitted for ICASSP conference from which I’m awaiting the letter of acceptance and I’ve got a vague idea of how the future could be planned out. The future has a lot of work in store for me: since I’ve Decided to proceed to do Ph.D. abroad, I’ve got a few tests like GRE, GRE subject Test: Mathematics, TOFEL to complete; I want another paper submitted as soon as possible; and finally, I need to get my Theses completed.  Well, this is me in a crucial juncture, just chilling and writing this article.

What is it about this article I could write just now? Well, it’s my current perspective of things around me. Firstly, My Guide is an awesome and cool fellow; He had given me freedom to work on any area or domain I’d like. I later realized that freedom is a dangerous drink: It is intoxicating and the lack of any kind of outside pressure to study or work towards your M.S Degree is as tempting as it sounds. It Makes you search deeper on why you do what you do, question your very existence and your purpose. It makes you philosophical at the least. Well, whatever it did, I became quite not so impressed in what the world had to offer: Money, Power, the whole charade. Well, It gave me a view of being in the top of the world where all the rest were just monkeys fighting over what monkeys would find fascinating. Friends were great but since I knew there was nothing great I could do to impact their lives or they mine, I kept them at bay, far away but never letting anybody realize the distance. It made me lonely I suppose: At times I’d get blue, but I didn’t care. I found Japanese anime, quite a bit of American television series, and Hollywood’s best movies to be quite great and in a way motivating and philosophical. Family was great, but visiting them would simply throw my regular life haywire like a ripple in a calm pond. So, what was my regular life? It’s simple: sleep whenever I please, eat as seldom as I please, watch anime, TV Series and do all that without any distractions. My sleep timings were extreme, sleeping always after 2.00 AM; sometimes it gets as bad as 10 am but I’d have a regular 7-8 hours of sleep. I’ve never had breakfast for a long time, probably a total of 20 breakfasts in my two year stay. I do protect my stomach by eating some biscuits or something at regular intervals just not a proper meal. So, with all that on the table, I’d never smoke or drink, partly because I am a Christian and partly because I got enough problems in my life with me being sober. Well, where does my work fit in among all these other stuff? Well, I’m proceeding towards the completion of my master’s degree aren’t I? Yes, and that’s the good great part of my life. I love my work, I really do. But do I constantly engage myself in it? Absolutely not! Seldom do I work but since I think about it all the time and discuss with every passer trapped in my way, I guess I do end up doing the adequate amount of work I’m supposed to do.

Well, what is my work? the answer to that is this so called: “research”. My research history till now is quite fascinating according to me. Well, when I entered IIT, I hated mathematics but I loved its elegant products like the Transforms (Fourier, Laplace, and Z) and its applicability in solving various problems. I was a practical kid, with mind only for the applicability of stuff around me.  I hated math because of the way people around me made me look at it before I reached IIT. Well, after coming here, Because of my interest in music and my past work in it, my guide gave me a few papers to read on music wherein I got familiarized with the mathematics of the Fourier and wavelet transform and the mathematics of it was fascinating. From here on, I proceeded to read anything that caught my fancy. I loved reading books rather than listening to classes partly because I hated all the boring syllabi and the grade oriented goals of Undergraduate Program also books are better at teaching you stuff at your own pleasure never dictating a deadline well, this complimented quite well with the freedom offered by my guide towards my work. Well, there’s one slight problem though, curiosity is possibly on of the main reasons I find my stuff interesting, but, the same curiosity makes me explore different domains never resting in one domain making it quite difficult for me to stay long enough in one domain to contribute something to it. Well, all these exploring made me learn the very basics of a few fields like: Signal Processing, Sparse Signal Processing, Estimation and Detection Theory, Linear Algebra, Optimization Theory and Probability and Statistics and a few other derivatives of the mentioned one. To people who think this is a bit much, No, It’s simple as can be and anyone can do it given 2 whole years to ponder on.

As for everything else, so for mathematical theory: beauty can be perceived but not explained”_ Arthur Cayley (1821-1895)

Start of my Fourth Semester, My Guide asked me to work on a specific problem and asked me to use it to complete my thesis. Note: This was the first time my Guide asked specifically anything from me. And… I froze. While all I did till then was jumping around from one area to another in research, this constrained me to stay. Also, this problem he gave was quite outside my forte, It was linear algebra, when this problem started, I was quite not so great at it, I knew the basics but I was unappreciative of the problem’s beauty. This lack of luster lasted for 3 whole months during which human adaptation kicked in and I slowly began understanding the problem bit by bit the more I understood it the more it felt good. It’s just like a person the more time you spend with them and understand them, you kind of start to like them. It was either that or it was the Stockholm syndrome. Well, Anyways, if you were wondering if all my previous exploration gone to waste, I’d say no. You see, The Problem was like clay the more I worked on it and understood it, all my other fields helped me to put those missing pieces in the problem together as they either added beauty or stability to the problem thus the clay got converted to quite the beautiful pot. Actually, the beautiful pot is part of my future work, probably the next one or two month’s work.

I never considered myself as someone special. I knew if given the same stuff and the same experiences as me even one of you monkeys could be me. Well, I’m grateful to God that it all fell in place to make my life beautiful. And yes, I do believe in God, being a researcher and all, I still find what I learn fascinating enough to believe in God. There is a lot of I involved, Mostly because I know of myself the best and maybe your story is more fabulous than mine, Frankly, I don’t care. I live my life and I love it. Now, as to why did I write this article, Well, I just felt like it. To the reader, Well, this is the path one other human being is travelling. I know, your problems are different, hurdles vary, and there is not much I could say and there aren’t much philosophies you haven’t herd. Well, I’m chopping down my tree and I don’t know when it’d fall same goes for you, and if you feel like it, just do something like me: write an article or something.

Christmas Lore

24 Dec

All the Decorations are up, The Merry mood had set in.

The Talk of Sweets, Gifts, Christmas trees and all things jolly abound.

The joy of people lifts the sorrow of world around.

Amid all life’s chores and banal strife, the rest settles like gentle snow.

Christmas celebrates unconditional Love, The purest of all.

It’s a celebration that reminds us, Man can Change.

The Change brings about a celebration.

The Celebration that the imperfect man can become perfect.

The the human you are is human no more but god’s cherished child.

That man shall contain not only god’s image but his purity amid man’s nature.

It’s a celebration that god’s knowledge was shared with man.

The secrets of heaven revealed to make earth the Eden once more.

The Eden brought by man’s hands doing God’s will.

The will that makes one love his neighbor as himself.

The devil, try he shall  to deem its end,

But 2000 years ago, this day, His failure was sealed.

So Celebrate Everybody, Big or small, Poor or Rich,

Coz Love shall cloak you in Riches untold.

For those who shall seek the Knowledge,

As wise men shall Find it and revel in the change that Christmas Signifies.

~Merry Christmas~


6 Apr

For everything big and small,

For all that past might be…

For the promising future of all,

For the Glory of Truth and Love,

For the Judgment be fair and beautiful,

For the Glory of the one Eternal,

My savior did say,



“Paid in full”


15 Dec

That day two thousand Years long ago,

There was something that stirs the world today, 

That something was love. It was love and love was all it was.

 Its enemy, God said, is man’s ego. We call it the devil.

Ego and Sins of man lie deep, hardly removable.

It hides within man and makes man believe that he is it.

It’s hard to remove, it’s hard to destroy.


Love is it enemy, and two thousand years ago, Ego was defeated.

I celebrate it as Christmas

That for any man who has love in his heart and nothing else,

Shall not be Man no more, But a Shard of God.

Love has its own meaning, It expects nothing,

It’s permanent and cannot be removed, 

It cannot be hit and cut, to the man who owns it, he’s a King.

He cannot be subdued by enemy, coz, love never makes enemies.

Love never creates divisions, It never expects honour. 

Love never expects return. 


Ego on the other hand, It wants it all. 

It wants respect, honour and desires all.

When Desires get down, It builds enemies.

It builds Distrust, it builds fear.

It protects itself disguising as oneself.

It hides with us… The real enemy is you.


Love, Pure Love, defeats Ego.

It’s beautiful. It’s Christmas.




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