Family, Honor and Death

2 May

Culture killed Christianity. If you are an Indian Christian reading this, if you follow the culture of those around and judge people based on culture, you stand at the gates of Hell.

If you would disown your child, to save your honor, if you live to please the people around, and look good in their sights, wear good fancy cloths to church. In all this you stand condemned to Hell.

Love is not in you, the spirit of God is not in you, stop talking about Christ you Hypocrite!. You use God as a tool for prosperity and good will. The devil is the one who got you that pinch of prosperity that you’d turn your back to God and loose eternity.

If you are self righteous, you are condemned to hell. If you judge a human and hate them, you are condemned to hell. These are sins.

Your child is a gift from God and to God shall he belong.

I loved you all so much,

How could you?

How could you disown me, my dad?, my mom?,.

Still I shall love you. I know love is in you.

When I asked you to name my sin, you could not, except for culture and honor.

Here I stand, perfect in the eyes of God, Not by my deeds, but because of the righteousness of God, saved for eternity,  yet condemned in earth.

What is the price of eternity? To me its everything. All this shall pass, still in eternity I shall stand. Few with me shall stand, will you join me there? Jesus is calling.

It’s not easy, it’s hard. The cost is this world.

Beware, I warn you this:  you all live in the city of destruction. Stop building in a city about to be destroyed.

A Girl

7 Feb

Like a silver lining, on the most beautiful velvet.  Adorns the frost on tiny leaves.
Amidst falls’ crumbling leaves are young green blades of hope. Like a smouldering furnace, fog rises up from the lake, to fight the last charms of the sun.  Beauty and flowery are the days of young spring. The sign of hope, the renewal of a cycle, the end of winter.

A rustle in the shrubs: Hop, hop, hop, goes the finch. Beautiful is its design, loving and adorable its feathers. Its small wings work hard, that no eyes can see but the passing glory of a little frame.

Relentless is time, hard are its demands. Future demands the present to change. Past warrants fear. Struggle and strife, the human way. Always pursuing happiness, the best of all tastes and satisfaction. Building the strength to move the world around.

This life, it pauses. In the horizon, a silhouette. Charmed by its sounds the person moves. Fullness and fun, to grasp and to hope. The design is complete, the girl likes me.


24 Jul

Is there someone there? 

A simple question asked, or a prayer.

In this life of ours, we  explore, experience, create and destroy. Leave a mark of our existence as a cold or warm footprint in many around. There are battles fought, victory celebrated and defeats endured. In all this one is not designed to be alone an existence but shares it with those around. 

Among all people we so share our lives with, sister is the one you fight with, have your most profoundly silly conversations, forced to get along with, and be scapegoated  or find a scapegoat for all misdeeds at home. 

My sister, over the years, I grew up with you, so, I know you and you know me. You judge me, and me you. And you’re the only one I allow to do so. You wish me well, and I you. As we grow old, I see that in you my sister is one to trust. We relish in each other’s achievement as our own. A pillar of strength for a time of trial.

We’ll still fight, contradict but just like our childhood days, get back together and scheme as one. 

You’re that someone who’s always there surely meddling around. We all need that someone who cares enough to meddle. You’re brother is really happy and proud to have you as a sister. 

Happy Birthday dear big and only sister, my God’s answer for a constant friend.

The pleasure of Eating with Hands: The Indian way!

9 Dec

1. The hand senses temperature. Indian food is designed such that one can take the food at their desired temperature some prefer it hot and some a bit cold and eating by hand adds this extra dimension to the taste. Note that certain Korean, Chinese and Japanese foods are either too hot or too cold  “Too hot” meaning boiling Hot! So, obviously they need wooden chopsticks! and they do insist on using that. Well, I insist people use their hands with Indian food.

2. Texture: The hand is really good at sensing texture that when you hold a cake in your hand, you’d start imagining the softness and drool all over. It gives a feel for the food and it helps mix the ingredients with a better ratio, yeah! some people prefer mixing the variety of items into one big delicious puddle.

3. Dexterity: The hand gives a better handle on the food. Example, the staple food being rice, which unlike the sticky kind in Japanese onigiri,  is quite loose and not sticky. Now, try picking that up with chopsticks I dare you!. Ah! and there are those roti (Indian Bread) made of wheat floor, I dare you to tear that, dip it in sauce and eat it and do all that with just your fancy knife and fork skill.

With all these advantages, using hands is a no brainier for having Indian food. And finally, the culture in India, which involves not shaking hands with others but a respectable bow with the hands clasped and importance to cleanliness when it comes to using your hand, like washing it a gazillion times and not using the dominant hand for dirty tasks makes the hand a clean alternative to those unwashed fork and spoon!. So, at least when it comes to Indian food, keep your hands perfectly clean and use it to have some good food. On the other hand if you are a microbe inviting freak of nature, Keep off my Table!.

Note that there had not been much research done by me, it’s just my hypothesis and a fun one to think about!.

(P.S :Sadly, In today’s India, not all are privileged enough to worry about cleanliness while they need to worry about getting food and other basic needs. Thus, cleanliness seems to be not embraced so highly as of yet partly due to lack of awareness and motivation for behavior change.)


21 Mar

The past it’s Movement stopped, present it extends for ever.

The future, the care Of it widened and fear its grip hardened.

The will and wish which fluttered around is caught in a Veil.

It circles the person It wants. Like a planet caught under gravity.

It changes it’s shape and gets molded to liE there dormant.

forever circling the one l’amour.

Parched is the ground. to Quench it: l’amour,

Tangled is my voice, to Untie it: l’amour,

Bleeds the hEart. to save it: l’amour,

Hunger it roars. to Eat: l’amour.

The Night is awake. to sleep: l’amour.

~The code it lies The Coward awaits ~

Ain’t life Beautiful, and to seek it: l’amour.

An Individual’s Life and Perspective

25 Jan

This article could only be written now and at no other stage of my life past or future would enable it. It’s my life as a student here at IIT madras. I’m now in my fifth semester of my M.S. (by research). Quite a lot had happened till now: I’ve done my exploration and settled on a research area, I’ve got one paper submitted for ICASSP conference from which I’m awaiting the letter of acceptance and I’ve got a vague idea of how the future could be planned out. The future has a lot of work in store for me: since I’ve Decided to proceed to do Ph.D. abroad, I’ve got a few tests like GRE, GRE subject Test: Mathematics, TOFEL to complete; I want another paper submitted as soon as possible; and finally, I need to get my Theses completed.  Well, this is me in a crucial juncture, just chilling and writing this article.

What is it about this article I could write just now? Well, it’s my current perspective of things around me. Firstly, My Guide is an awesome and cool fellow; He had given me freedom to work on any area or domain I’d like. I later realized that freedom is a dangerous drink: It is intoxicating and the lack of any kind of outside pressure to study or work towards your M.S Degree is as tempting as it sounds. It Makes you search deeper on why you do what you do, question your very existence and your purpose. It makes you philosophical at the least. Well, whatever it did, I became quite not so impressed in what the world had to offer: Money, Power, the whole charade. Well, It gave me a view of being in the top of the world where all the rest were just monkeys fighting over what monkeys would find fascinating. Friends were great but since I knew there was nothing great I could do to impact their lives or they mine, I kept them at bay, far away but never letting anybody realize the distance. It made me lonely I suppose: At times I’d get blue, but I didn’t care. I found Japanese anime, quite a bit of American television series, and Hollywood’s best movies to be quite great and in a way motivating and philosophical. Family was great, but visiting them would simply throw my regular life haywire like a ripple in a calm pond. So, what was my regular life? It’s simple: sleep whenever I please, eat as seldom as I please, watch anime, TV Series and do all that without any distractions. My sleep timings were extreme, sleeping always after 2.00 AM; sometimes it gets as bad as 10 am but I’d have a regular 7-8 hours of sleep. I’ve never had breakfast for a long time, probably a total of 20 breakfasts in my two year stay. I do protect my stomach by eating some biscuits or something at regular intervals just not a proper meal. So, with all that on the table, I’d never smoke or drink, partly because I am a Christian and partly because I got enough problems in my life with me being sober. Well, where does my work fit in among all these other stuff? Well, I’m proceeding towards the completion of my master’s degree aren’t I? Yes, and that’s the good great part of my life. I love my work, I really do. But do I constantly engage myself in it? Absolutely not! Seldom do I work but since I think about it all the time and discuss with every passer trapped in my way, I guess I do end up doing the adequate amount of work I’m supposed to do.

Well, what is my work? the answer to that is this so called: “research”. My research history till now is quite fascinating according to me. Well, when I entered IIT, I hated mathematics but I loved its elegant products like the Transforms (Fourier, Laplace, and Z) and its applicability in solving various problems. I was a practical kid, with mind only for the applicability of stuff around me.  I hated math because of the way people around me made me look at it before I reached IIT. Well, after coming here, Because of my interest in music and my past work in it, my guide gave me a few papers to read on music wherein I got familiarized with the mathematics of the Fourier and wavelet transform and the mathematics of it was fascinating. From here on, I proceeded to read anything that caught my fancy. I loved reading books rather than listening to classes partly because I hated all the boring syllabi and the grade oriented goals of Undergraduate Program also books are better at teaching you stuff at your own pleasure never dictating a deadline well, this complimented quite well with the freedom offered by my guide towards my work. Well, there’s one slight problem though, curiosity is possibly on of the main reasons I find my stuff interesting, but, the same curiosity makes me explore different domains never resting in one domain making it quite difficult for me to stay long enough in one domain to contribute something to it. Well, all these exploring made me learn the very basics of a few fields like: Signal Processing, Sparse Signal Processing, Estimation and Detection Theory, Linear Algebra, Optimization Theory and Probability and Statistics and a few other derivatives of the mentioned one. To people who think this is a bit much, No, It’s simple as can be and anyone can do it given 2 whole years to ponder on.

As for everything else, so for mathematical theory: beauty can be perceived but not explained”_ Arthur Cayley (1821-1895)

Start of my Fourth Semester, My Guide asked me to work on a specific problem and asked me to use it to complete my thesis. Note: This was the first time my Guide asked specifically anything from me. And… I froze. While all I did till then was jumping around from one area to another in research, this constrained me to stay. Also, this problem he gave was quite outside my forte, It was linear algebra, when this problem started, I was quite not so great at it, I knew the basics but I was unappreciative of the problem’s beauty. This lack of luster lasted for 3 whole months during which human adaptation kicked in and I slowly began understanding the problem bit by bit the more I understood it the more it felt good. It’s just like a person the more time you spend with them and understand them, you kind of start to like them. It was either that or it was the Stockholm syndrome. Well, Anyways, if you were wondering if all my previous exploration gone to waste, I’d say no. You see, The Problem was like clay the more I worked on it and understood it, all my other fields helped me to put those missing pieces in the problem together as they either added beauty or stability to the problem thus the clay got converted to quite the beautiful pot. Actually, the beautiful pot is part of my future work, probably the next one or two month’s work.

I never considered myself as someone special. I knew if given the same stuff and the same experiences as me even one of you monkeys could be me. Well, I’m grateful to God that it all fell in place to make my life beautiful. And yes, I do believe in God, being a researcher and all, I still find what I learn fascinating enough to believe in God. There is a lot of I involved, Mostly because I know of myself the best and maybe your story is more fabulous than mine, Frankly, I don’t care. I live my life and I love it. Now, as to why did I write this article, Well, I just felt like it. To the reader, Well, this is the path one other human being is travelling. I know, your problems are different, hurdles vary, and there is not much I could say and there aren’t much philosophies you haven’t herd. Well, I’m chopping down my tree and I don’t know when it’d fall same goes for you, and if you feel like it, just do something like me: write an article or something.

Christmas Lore

24 Dec

All the Decorations are up, The Merry mood had set in.

The Talk of Sweets, Gifts, Christmas trees and all things jolly abound.

The joy of people lifts the sorrow of world around.

Amid all life’s chores and banal strife, the rest settles like gentle snow.

Christmas celebrates unconditional Love, The purest of all.

It’s a celebration that reminds us, Man can Change.

The Change brings about a celebration.

The Celebration that the imperfect man can become perfect.

The the human you are is human no more but god’s cherished child.

That man shall contain not only god’s image but his purity amid man’s nature.

It’s a celebration that god’s knowledge was shared with man.

The secrets of heaven revealed to make earth the Eden once more.

The Eden brought by man’s hands doing God’s will.

The will that makes one love his neighbor as himself.

The devil, try he shall  to deem its end,

But 2000 years ago, this day, His failure was sealed.

So Celebrate Everybody, Big or small, Poor or Rich,

Coz Love shall cloak you in Riches untold.

For those who shall seek the Knowledge,

As wise men shall Find it and revel in the change that Christmas Signifies.

~Merry Christmas~


6 Apr

For everything big and small,

For all that past might be…

For the promising future of all,

For the Glory of Truth and Love,

For the Judgment be fair and beautiful,

For the Glory of the one Eternal,

My savior did say,



“Paid in full”


15 Dec

That day two thousand Years long ago,

There was something that stirs the world today, 

That something was love. It was love and love was all it was.

 Its enemy, God said, is man’s ego. We call it the devil.

Ego and Sins of man lie deep, hardly removable.

It hides within man and makes man believe that he is it.

It’s hard to remove, it’s hard to destroy.


Love is it enemy, and two thousand years ago, Ego was defeated.

I celebrate it as Christmas

That for any man who has love in his heart and nothing else,

Shall not be Man no more, But a Shard of God.

Love has its own meaning, It expects nothing,

It’s permanent and cannot be removed, 

It cannot be hit and cut, to the man who owns it, he’s a King.

He cannot be subdued by enemy, coz, love never makes enemies.

Love never creates divisions, It never expects honour. 

Love never expects return. 


Ego on the other hand, It wants it all. 

It wants respect, honour and desires all.

When Desires get down, It builds enemies.

It builds Distrust, it builds fear.

It protects itself disguising as oneself.

It hides with us… The real enemy is you.


Love, Pure Love, defeats Ego.

It’s beautiful. It’s Christmas.

Fight For the Light

6 Sep

Long has it been since I’ve seen light.

Long, the Time of brooding and waiting,

I want back what I lost,

I want the freedom and rest.

Peace that no man shall ever take away,

Peace that shall break these chains of darkness away.

I’ve found what I was looking for.

I had it all along, Just din’t see.

Everyone has it all along, says wisdom,

People have eyes but they are closed.

The time and tide that waits for none and shall harbur none,

I shall live and face the tides of changes with courage.

I shall find the life I wanted and shall cherish it,

Never letting go, never to turn back.

The chains of past are hard. They shall lock me down,

The pull of the future of light, broke those chains,

Forever will I be scared by the past, but never to be bound.

The past is what the has given me a future to live.

The future is defined by the present.

None shall now affect me, no pain no vain,

I’m free and alive for all to see.

The Life that’s given, I shall cherish, and live to see a tomorrow so bright and beautiful.